Talk about how feminism has improved the quality of life for women explain to her that there was a time in this country when men could legally rape their wives, when women could not vote or get a checking account or divorce an abusive partner. bell hooks’s Feminism Is for Everybody and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s We Should All Be Feminists are easy to read and dispel the myth of feminism being some sort of cult for man-hating women. If you can’t get her to read them on her own, read them to her at the dinner table. Introduce your daughter to some accessible feminist texts that will help her to better understand how patriarchy truly impacts the lives of women. Inform her that many SAHM meet their husbands in college, and that part of what makes these women intriguing to their partners is their education and worldliness. Let her know that it’s okay to want someone to be a protector and provider, but that a quality man is going to want a woman who has more to her than her ability to bake bread and rear children. Ask her how she’d feel if her partner wouldn’t let her talk to her family or friends or prevented her from having hobbies and interests of her own. Explain to her that in contemporary society, there are very few men (and even fewer rich ones) looking to take care of a woman who doesn’t have a high school diploma and that the tradwife lifestyle she so covets often comes with a loss of personal freedom. Sign her up for tutoring and make her stick with it until things turn around. Until her grades improve, she shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with friends or talk on the phone. Let her know that as long as she’s in your home, she has no choice to take school seriously. These things may not have taken hold yet, but hopefully, they will be helpful in the long term. Keep Rachel off of social media (to the best of your ability, as it’s hard to monitor what she consumes when she’s out of your presence) and in therapy. My Son and Daughter-in-Law Are Making It Way Too Hard for Me to See My Grandbaby-and Other Advice From the Week ![]() Now He Wants to Micromanage My Transition. My Daughter Started a Controversial Group Chat. ![]() My 4-Year-Old Listens Wonderfully to Every Single Adult … Except for Me We’ve already taken her off social media and put her into therapy, but it seems to have had no effect so far. She has already been letting her grades slip, and she has told her dad and me that she no longer plans to go to college because “real men don’t need some educated feminist woman.” I’m so scared for her. Rachel is serious about dropping out of high school to focus on her future as a tradwife. I’ve tried to have conversations with her about the dangers of relying on a man and what being a SAHM actually looks like, but it goes in one ear and out the other. That’s what I did! What I am is deeply concerned that Rachel is not actually in love with the idea of becoming a wife and mother she likes the idea of being taken care of by a man, and she’s going to put herself in a situation that could turn abusive. I’m not looking down on women who choose homemaking as a career. When I learned more about where this was coming from, I found out that Rachel had been spending almost all of her social media time looking at tradwife accounts-pages that glorify being a SAHM and turn it into some sort of cottagecore patriarchal fantasy.įor the record, I myself am a SAHM. She’s now talking about how great the “patriarchy” is and how she can’t wait for someone to come and take care of her. She can’t wait to be able to sit at home all day and make quilts and homemade butter while homeschooling her children. She wants to focus on maintaining her appearance and learning housewife skills for said future man. She used to be excited about the prospect of college, getting a degree, and eventually moving to her dream city, but now, all she talks about is dropping out of high school (right now!) and finding a “nice rich man” to take care of her. Recently, Rachel’s goals have done a 180. Now, I’m wondering if I did something wrong. Although her father and I have regulations about its use, and we loosely monitor what she’s consuming, we trust her to be responsible. Like most teenagers, Rachel uses social media (mainly TikTok and Instagram). She’s smart and personable and has always had big plans for the future, such as college and an eventual career in high-level nursing. I have a 16-year-old daughter, “Rachel,” who has always been a go-getter. Have a question about kids, parenting, or family life? Submit it here ! ![]() Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week.
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